ACT I
Body: hey bro sorry about the chest cold followed immediately by terrible allergy shit
Me: So we're done being sick for a while, then. Right?
Body: um
Me: what the entire damn hell do you mean "um"
Body: we sorta brought your stepdad's stomach bug home
Me: GODDAMMIT
Body: It's just a little one! You'll feel mostly OK. Other than the barfing, anyway. There wasn't anything you particularly wanted to eat tonight, was there?
Me: Fuck you.
ACT II
Stomach: gonna hurl
Me: Again? Ugh, fine. *gets up* *sits on bathroom floor* *waits*
[half an hour later, nothing has happened]
Me: FFS, if you're going to do the thing, DO THE THING.
Stomach: lol I was just fuckin w/you bro
ACT III
Stomach: gonna hurl
Me: Are you serious this time?
Stomach: yep
Me: Fine. *gets up* *sits on bathroom floor* *waits*
[half an hour later, nothing has happened]
Me: COME ON
Stomach: ahahahahaha I can't believe you fell for it again ok no I'm cool now, really