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AlexBeefgnaw
I draw a silly comic about food-themed countries, exploding snakes, and a guy who dies a lot (he gets better). I also do LPs but I'm not gonna pimp them here because that is not what this is for.

Age 49, Male

Beefgnawpolis

Joined on 1/8/16

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The Customer-Supplied Art Drinking Game

Posted by AlexBeefgnaw - January 13th, 2016


My day job is in the awards and recognition industry. Trophies and plaques and such. Sometimes customers want their artwork on stuff...

What we ask for:

Some sort of vector format like .eps or failing that, a nice big clear .jpg. (of course we can work with other actual image formats but prefer to offer the fewest options possible so as not to scare or confuse our largely non-designer customer base)

What we get: 

  • Word document with poor quality artwork pasted into it 
  • Word document with the "logo" as word art 
  • Same, except with some weird ass font we don't have; almost always a pay font that costs more than the customer is paying us and customer will not want to pay
  • Powerpoint presentation 
  • Excel spreadsheet 
  • Tiny .jpg with more artifacts than the Smithsonian 
  • 20x20 gif 
  • Thumbnail from pay stock site complete with watermark; license almost always costs more than the customer is paying us and customer will not want to pay
  • Logo from company or other entity we know damn well a) has draconian logo usage policies, b) has not authorized customer to use their logo, and c) will sue the absolute shit out of us if they find out we accepted money from someone they didn't authorize to use their logo to put that logo on a thing they didn't authorize either of us to put it on
  • Blurry, poorly lit cell phone photo of letterhead, business card, etc., usually taken at a weird angle 
  • Blurry, poorly lit cell phone photo of person wearing shirt with logo on it, and the person is almost always standing at a weird angle and is at least one size too large for the shirt
  • Blurry, poorly lit cell phone photo of signage, usually at a weird angle with important parts cut off at the top or bottom or obstructed by vegetation, buildings, or someone's head
  • E-mail containing link to image on pay stock site; license almost always costs more than the customer is paying us and customer will not want to pay
  • E-mail containing link to Google Image Search results
  • Same, where search results bring up such a wide variety of completely different things that we have no idea what the hell it is they even want
  • E-mail containing link pointing at location of image on customer's local hard drive
  • Nothing, followed eventually by angry call telling us they tried to text the artwork multiple times... to our land line

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